Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Senseless

It's been a slow process, and frustrating, but I have some things working right now, nothing worth getting excited about right this moment I confess, but nonetheless things are moving along.  Losing a job is tough, especially when you worked as hard as I did to get there the right way, even more so when you feel you could have been saved if certain people had your back and took a stand for you, but alas, at least now I'm aware of their true colors.  Truth is, I kept pretty much quiet about, I felt the people who knew about it could save me if they wish, but for whatever reason they chose not to.

Thankfully, my friends, my real friends have stuck by me, and for that I'm eternally thankful.  I was loyal to my job, even if at times they didn't exactly look out for me, I stayed loyal.  And if I have to be honest, I really didn't know what I did was so serious, I didn't gain anything from it, and I never even got a warning, it just seemed fishy to me.  I had never been in trouble there, never written up, my personal records file was clean as a whistle, yet one screw, that I confessed to mind you, and they drop me without a fight, just doesn't seem right, especially when I know for a fact there are people still there high up who have done much worse, and others in the past who did much worse and they got chance after chance, it just confuses me.  Part of me wants someone to question them about why they did it to me, and chose to let other's slide constantly, but then I wonder what would it solve really.

If they asked me to go back, would I even want to.  Honestly, I don't know.  I know if I did, it would only be on my terms, or I wouldn't come back at all.  I've already heard the stories about how they are starting realize what all I did, and my old department is falling apart fast, it's funny I admit, but I it's not fair to the department itself that didn't want me gone.  I know eventually they can replace me, but it's going to take them months now, even if they get someone from outside, that department is unique and not like any other department around.  There are people who have been there 20 years and know nothing about it, but I guess the job forgot about that.

I got about three jobs in the air right now, just setting interviews up and such.  And some friends looking out for me, and letting me know about jobs as well.  If I find a good job, I'm definitely going to hook up some friends if I can.  I hate being jobless, I hate being useless, I hate being lazy, always have, I've always been a person who works and keeps moving, I believe in earning a living the right way.  I guess some things will never make sense, and I know God always works things out.  The one's who messed me up, God will let things come full circle one day, I'm just glad I want be there to endure it.  Who knows, maybe God was trying to get me out of there because something bad is about to happen there, you never know, only God knows, but if something bad is about to happen, I pray God gets certain others to safety as well.  I believe in Him.

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