In life, in love, in friendship, and really in everything, there has to be an equal give and take for it to be truly fair and successful. And many people fight to get all they can, and often times wonder why things don't come to them, and the answer is simple, there is a price you have to pay for everything. And when I say price, I don't only mean money, there are so many other ways you can pay whether it be with money, time, faith, trust, favors, energy, I mean you can pay in almost an infinite amount of way.
I feel I'm always willing to give, and I'm ok with that because truthfully I find happiness in giving. I do have trouble taking though, and it's not that I don't want or need anything, it's hard for me to take something I know someone at one time worked hard for themselves. I always try hard to see the world from as many views as possible, I often times step out of my own mind, and try to see things as best I can through my friends and enemies views before rushing to any decisions. I'm not always successful in this, but believe me I do make a real effort. And that's why sometimes I struggle with things, or someone treats me or ignores me.
I will always make that extra effort to not hurt them or take their own views into consideration. I will give some of my happiness to make sure they can be happy, I will always give some of my time to make sure they know they're loved and needed. And sometimes I wonder if they do they same. For the one I love, I would go to war with anyone or anything to keep them in my life, to spend time with them as friends or anything else. I'm not saying I would win every war, but I promise I would fight until I no longer could breathe.
I understand there is a fine line right I have to walk with her, certain people might take things the wrong way even if I mean no harm. I wish things weren't like that, I wish our friendship could be allowed to grow and be itself. Even she can admit I've never physically crossed that line, I've always just been a great friend, and even the few times I've asked for more, it's only been when she was single. I respect her, and as long as she is with someone else, she knows I will always stay as a friend. But it's really hard on me, when I make that effort and truly stay true to my word, and I'm still not allowed to see my friend and simply have fun. I feel like I'm doing all the giving, but nothing is really being given back, I mean she promises and she says the right things, and then nothing ever happens, either she talks herself out of it or someone else stops her, and I truly believe when she makes these statements that her heart is in the right place. I truly believe she wants our friendship to be what it was, but she doesn't know how.
The past is never gone, our friendship is still here, but we both must reach out and reclaim it for it to be what it was. We both have to stand up for each other and let the world know we are friends and always will be until we die, and nobody who or what comes this friendship will not die. Sometimes, I feel like I'm her guy friend that builds her up and keeps her standing until she finds someone else, and that stings a lot, because I truly love her and am always willing to put in the time and effort and work for her, I never got the rewards outside of friendship, but I still stay by her, for no other reason except I truly love and care about her and how her life turns out. As long as I live, I personally vow she will never fall, because I would gladly do whatever it takes to keep her standing tall, and that my friend is not just a promise, but a vow and guarantee for life. Even if you doubt me, I will still stand by my word, even if it means my end.
I feel I'm always willing to give, and I'm ok with that because truthfully I find happiness in giving. I do have trouble taking though, and it's not that I don't want or need anything, it's hard for me to take something I know someone at one time worked hard for themselves. I always try hard to see the world from as many views as possible, I often times step out of my own mind, and try to see things as best I can through my friends and enemies views before rushing to any decisions. I'm not always successful in this, but believe me I do make a real effort. And that's why sometimes I struggle with things, or someone treats me or ignores me.
I will always make that extra effort to not hurt them or take their own views into consideration. I will give some of my happiness to make sure they can be happy, I will always give some of my time to make sure they know they're loved and needed. And sometimes I wonder if they do they same. For the one I love, I would go to war with anyone or anything to keep them in my life, to spend time with them as friends or anything else. I'm not saying I would win every war, but I promise I would fight until I no longer could breathe.
I understand there is a fine line right I have to walk with her, certain people might take things the wrong way even if I mean no harm. I wish things weren't like that, I wish our friendship could be allowed to grow and be itself. Even she can admit I've never physically crossed that line, I've always just been a great friend, and even the few times I've asked for more, it's only been when she was single. I respect her, and as long as she is with someone else, she knows I will always stay as a friend. But it's really hard on me, when I make that effort and truly stay true to my word, and I'm still not allowed to see my friend and simply have fun. I feel like I'm doing all the giving, but nothing is really being given back, I mean she promises and she says the right things, and then nothing ever happens, either she talks herself out of it or someone else stops her, and I truly believe when she makes these statements that her heart is in the right place. I truly believe she wants our friendship to be what it was, but she doesn't know how.
The past is never gone, our friendship is still here, but we both must reach out and reclaim it for it to be what it was. We both have to stand up for each other and let the world know we are friends and always will be until we die, and nobody who or what comes this friendship will not die. Sometimes, I feel like I'm her guy friend that builds her up and keeps her standing until she finds someone else, and that stings a lot, because I truly love her and am always willing to put in the time and effort and work for her, I never got the rewards outside of friendship, but I still stay by her, for no other reason except I truly love and care about her and how her life turns out. As long as I live, I personally vow she will never fall, because I would gladly do whatever it takes to keep her standing tall, and that my friend is not just a promise, but a vow and guarantee for life. Even if you doubt me, I will still stand by my word, even if it means my end.
No comments:
Post a Comment