The Low

Look, I have always been one who knows when to hold back and knows when to let loose.  I understand my emotions and feelings extremely well, but I also understand sometimes publicly I have to hold back out of respect for those I love, and I'm patient enough to know I have to wait for the time to come.  I love her, and yes my dream is to spend my life with her, but that being said I respect her first.  What this means is while I love her completely, and do desire more than a friendship her I admit, that I respect her as an equal enough to not act on my love when it isn't right, I know how to hold love inside and be a great friend.  I confess it isn't always easy, because loving someone like I love her and being alone so much does get to a person from time to time.

But I take solace in the fact I know how pure my love is for her, I know how great of a woman she is, and I know how lucky we both are to have found each other like we have, even if as friends there is a strong love bond between us, and I'm willing to wait my entire life if needed for a chance.  That doesn't mean anything is guaranteed to happen, but this I feel I believe its to real for nothing to happen.  I love her, and many people won't get this, but I'll love her just as much even when she is 60 as I do now, age is just a number and looks are just a cover when you truly love someone for who they are like I do her.

Seeing her today being successful and really working her dream made me so proud, she doesn't know it but that brief time we spent together just talking about whatever with her and her daughter was the highlight of my year.  I love talking with her, and I love talking with her daughter, I can't explain it really, but I just feel at home and comfortable with them, like I can just be myself and its ok.  Its hard to explain, its a connection you just feel inside, I just feel at ease with her and really the entire family.  I mean you run into millions of people in your life, and several friends, but you find only a few you feel completely at ease with, and maybe that is a big reason I love her some much, she calms me with just her smile and presence.

Her cooking is amazing, I can honestly say I've ate any thing cooked by her that wasn't good, it's crazy.  The night a few years ago we let the walls down and went to a bar is the happiest night of my life, I'm still unsure if that was an official date or not as I went into it as just friends thinking, but came out of it like it was more, that night was the night I realized I love her.  But it was love I had never experienced, its so strong, so right, and I made a mistake, I didn't trust myself and sought advice, and that backfired, and I regret it I admit.  But I wish she would realize my intent wasn't to hurt her, it was to try my best to not lose her because she is that important to me, it led to a massive argument where I'm pretty sure we both will admit we said and did things we wish we hadn't.  But I've learned so much over the years, I know I'm ready for her now, and I don't feel like we really ever truly tried.  I don't want anyone else, I don't want to use what I learned for someone else, that won't bring me happiness, I learned all I did for one person and one person only and that is her, and its simple, she is the only woman I love like this.  And one day I just know she see this, might be tomorrow, might 30 years from now, but I'm completely dedicated to waiting forever if I must, I'm fully invested into her for better or worse, and at least I can admit that and have come to terms with it.

I'm an extremely rare and valuable person who loves completely, there is no other me, and I have one and only one price tag to buy me, and that price is her love and nobody else's, no other payment will buy me, and that is just how it is.  No matter what happens, I will support her and be her best friend until the end, but understand I will always love her completely and want her to be my queen.  If nothing else, I ask you appreciate my bluntness and honesty, at least I'm not hiding my love for her.

On a side note, today was an extremely great day, I got see the one I love and her daughter, and I'm 99% sure I landed the best paying job I've ever had.  Maybe I know I can do some things for myself and those I love I've always dreamed of doing.  I have plans, and most don't benefit me at all, but they will make me happy and bring happiness to those I love.

Think About It

I really wish people would just understand I'm never giving up, nothing they say or do will change that, and bottom line is I love her and that is something that will last until I die.  I hear all the time things like it isn't meant to be or when a door shuts a window opens.  Well, the thing is I do believe it is meant to be and I don't believe the door is shut, you see I believe in my love completely and I believe in her.

I said before you can go back sometimes, and in this situation we can go back, there is nothing stopping us and that is the truth.  There is no hate, there is no ill feelings, but there is love and respect.  That isn't a closed door.  People give up way too much and easy in todays world.  Almost every successful marriage or relationship is because two people refused to give up on each other.  There is always an excuse to give up or walk away, that is the easy way out, its always easier to just throw it away and doubt it could be real.  But real love means never giving up, and there is no reason good enough to me in this world to give up on her and being with her,  I would give up oxygen before I gave up on her and my love.

I never understand why people are so determined to destroy real love just because they feel they know better.  All pain is not the same, there is bad pain where bad things happen and all you can do is rebuild or fight back, but their is pain through love, this pain comes from loving someone so much it hurts because you miss them so much, and this pain isn't healed by walking away because if you walk the away and you love enough, the pain follows you.  The only way I would ever walk away is if we tried and failed, if we truly gave our love a chance, but until that happens I will not give up on her, and the try has to real.

My love is real, and I can offer more than almost anyone because I'm willing to offer my very existence for her.  Maybe the question you should ask is how I can love her despite having to wait forever, and despite being pushed away?  Maybe you need to understand I am the one who will love her completely forever, and I am the one who will never walk out on her.... stop seeing my persistence as a negative and try and see the dedication to her and the positives.  I would rather love her truly because I know she is the one I love and hurt, than fake love someone else just to be not alone.  I know who I love, would you want someone telling you who to love, the truth is we know our hearts, we know our love.  Maybe instead of asking me why I love her, maybe the question should be why is she so convinced we can't work, is it really a valid reason.  Think about it.  How do we know we can't work if we don't try, and we both know we love each deeply, so why shouldn't we at least try.  I'm willing to risk everything with her if we get a chance at love, and if I'm willing to take that risk, let me, I'm that confident we'll work.  All I've ever asked for is a chance, and for you to believe in me completely for once, stop making excuses why we can't ans see the reasons why we can.

Happiness

So the woman I love made a huge announcement today, she is finally getting the opportunity to realize her dreams, and she deserves every bit of it, she has worked hard and truthfully I couldn't be happier.  In fact this is the happiest I've been in a long time, I've always believed in her, and I've never given up on her, and now she is on the path she dreamed about, this might be one of the few things that could truly make me happy.  I love her, I want her to be happy always, I want the best for her, so when it happens I'm elated.  I know she will succeed, I know her dreams will blossom, for multiple reasons, first I know her, and I know that some stubborn attitude is matched by her stubborn drive, she won't give up, that is why I've said her stubborn side isn't a bad thing.  Second, she has some amazing support team members in her parents, family, friends and she knows she always has my support 100%.  I never doubted her, I really didn't, I was quite vocal in my support for her and many people never understood my unwavering support and love for her, but it never mattered to me if they understood because I knew it was real.  I really am so happy, people don't realize when I see the one's I love most happy, it makes me the happiest of all, I get happier when things happen for those I love more than I do when things happen for me, I'm just wired like that.  The key to my happiness is through my relationships with those I love most.

It really has been a good day all around, I have gone two months without a solid job lead, and it's been hard.  But today I got three offers that could come through very soon, I might actually have to choose one, and all have there perks.  I'm leaning toward the Coca-Cola job at the moment, but the other two jobs have upside too.

Guys and gals, its real simple for me, I love her, I desire to be with her for life, this love will never fade or go away.  I will always blindly support her and be there for her, and there will be times I'm sure I'll walk into trouble, but you got understand I don't care about the trouble, all I care about is the woman I love with my life, and this love will be real in me even when they bury me when I die.  I just want her and I to be together, and I don't care if she is busy and doesn't have much time, as long as we're together I'll love and support her, I won't hold her back, I won't let her slow down.  When i love someone, I see it as a commitment or promise to never abandon each other, in many ways I see our lives a one, and we succeed and fail together, but always together.  I'm reaching out me hand right now, and telling leave your worries behind, let's do this and not think about it, let's just have love and enjoy each other and be happy, grab my hand and I will never let you go, I'm promise you I will give you everything in me to see that you have a happy life, and you know how serious I take promises.   I want so bad to say your name, but I don't for a reason.  I love you, everyday I want to tell you and show you I love you, I've never been more ready to take that next step with you, my walls are down, and you could probably take me at will I confess.  I'm completely into you, I'm all in, I'm lost in you.  For once just trust my love, trust love in general, for once allow us to be happy together, what do we have to really lose, and whatever it is doesn't compare to how much we have to gain if we give love a chance.  Don't worry about hurting me if we explore love, I know the cost and I have willing placed my heart in your hands, let me take the risk if I choose.  I love you that much.

Good and Bad

One thing everyone has to realize is that every decision in life has both good and bad consequences, and the trick making decisions where to you the good outweighs the bad.  And honestly, these decisions are never really easy that often.  Even in love, there is good and bad results, even in the most successful relationship there is a degree of good and bad.  You just got to decide is the good worth dealing with the bad.

I love her, and I know full well what I'm getting myself into by loving her and wanting to spend my life with her, I realize who she is, I realize there will be times she'll test me, there will be times she'll challenge me, but I don't care.  Because I love her, and to me the good of her far outweighs any bad of her.  And I pray she knows what she would be getting into by loving me for life, I'm no different than anyone else, I have my good qualities and my my bad ones.  But I like to think I do more good for who than bad.

I love her edge, and truthfully I love her smartass mouth and attitude, many times its what keeps me laughing even when she is dogging me out.  I don't mind her standing up to me or challenging me, God knows I need that from her at times.  Just like I try to motivate her and build her up, she does the same to me.  I don't mind that we are both stubborn and butt heads at times, because some of the best ideas come from two loved ones butting heads and working things out.  A lot of traits many people might see as negatives in her, I really see as positives.  Truth is, in a perfect world we could just chill for life and not worry about anything and be fine, but this world isn't perfect.  And we both realize that, and realize we got to work for the life we want.  She and I really want the same thing in love and life, in a way we are in very similar spots in life.  We're both ready to settle down, we're both ready to find careers, we're both ready to step to that next level of life, and I believe together we can do this.

I don't want her to second guess herself or be nervous, I want her to step up and reach out to me, and give us a chance, I want to see her take that leap of faith, just as I did when I first told her I loved her.  I'm all in, and I want to see her jump all in too.  Lord knows I need some love, its been a long time, but I don't want just any love, I want the one I love and she is the only one I need.  She can have me with a simple call, in my mind and heart I'm already her's.  I could make her wait, I could make myself not available all the time, I could pretend not to love her, but truthfully I hate playing those games, when it comes to love I want to get straight to the point, so I'm the type you won't lie about my love, I'll just pint blank so you I love you.

Difference

The difference between my love and everyone else is I have shown actions to match my words when I say I love you no matter what happens or what you do.  And deep down she knows this, she knows I have and am always willing to be there for her whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, monetary or any other way I can.  I have proven my loyalty to you and my friendship and my love time in and time out.  I have taken your best shots, and not only stayed standing, but stayed in love with you.  I am the real deal, and I don't do or say these things thinking you owe me anything, no, I do and say these things because I really do love you completely.

The thing is I know she loves me completely back, she has made every effort to be there for me when she can in many ways, I know her heart is willing to be there for me, just sometimes she might be limited, and that is ok with me.  I know who she is, and I know she gives all she can, and I love her for that.  She puts real thought and emotion in her actions, and I want her to know I love her and love how she loves me back and I see her true intentions, and she is amazing for them.

I want her to know she doesn't have to fix her situation in life to give us a chance, I accept her as she is.  And truthfully I think she is wonderful and in a better situation then she realizes.  All she has to do and come take me, and I am forever her's.  Some people are quick to say she is wrong, some people are quick to try and correct her, I believe she is smart, and sometimes I believe she might be right and other's wrong, and I believe there is more than one way to be successful so I choose let her be free and grow how she wishes, who knows she might not need to be corrected.  I trust her, and I won't lie, my dream is spend my life with her in happiness, make love and success between us.  What more does she want from me, what more does she need me to do to prove we deserve a chance to be in love?  Just tell me, and I'll do it.  I love her, and all I ask is she love me back and not be afraid to act on her love for me, I already love her for who she is, now all she has to do is come claim me.  We can be happy together no matter where we are in life, I'm ready to start right now, all she has to do is reach out to me.

So Damn Much

There are times I do wonder if maybe I should talk about the sex appeal I see in the woman I love, I mean if I'm honest she is down right sexy from head to toe.  The thing is, I don't want her thinking I only love her for her looks, the thing is her looks to me are just a wonderful bonus, but who she is and what she is about is truly what draws me to her.

When I'm with her I get crazy and my mind turns to jello, but thats a good thing because I realize I only want to spend my life with her.  She melts my heart everytime, and then she molds me into complete happiness.  I love her so much that being one with her is truly a dream, one in love for ever. 

It's so hard to put it into words, but I love her so much and so true.  I wish we could stop time and just enjoy each other in peace forever.  One kiss, one chance, one lifetime, she truly is the greatest and rarest of gems, she is worth my life and love, she is my world.  Being with her makes my world perfect, she could honestly show up at my front door tomorrow and just be with me and I would want to stay there forever.  I just love her so damn much, I would have no objections to ever belonging to her, I really wouldn't.

No Matter

Have you ever had your heart broken by the one you love most, ok, so you know the feeling I'm talking about, and most people stop loving after that.  It's a sign you were never truly in love.  I say this for a reason.  Because sometimes something different happens, when someone is truly in love with said person, when they are truly the one.

The woman I love has broken my heart multiple times, she constantly swears we can never be, yet she loves me, but refuses to give us chance, and every time it shatters my heart and world.  But the crazy thing is, even though she has shattered my heart repeatedly, I still love her with all I got.  No matter what, no matter how much she pushes away or hurts me, I will always love her and keep my life open to her, I will always freely give her my heart, and I will always dream of spending my life with her.  That is truly a sign, a sign my love is more than real.

She wants someone who will truly believe in her no matter the circumstances, someone who will remain loyal to her no matter the circumstances, someone who will love her no matter the circumstances.  I'm here to tell without a doubt, I am that love.  I won't run away just because you hurt me, I won't run away just because you let me down, I won't run away just because you fail, my point is I will never run away from you, if anything I will try to hold you closer and keep you safe. 

Maybe I'm not your ideal love, maybe you thought I'd be someone different, but I'm telling you I am the love you need, and deep down the love you've always wanted.  I'm not perfect, I might not pass all your tests, but you know my love will never leave you and never fail you, you know I have proven time and time again how much my love is for you, and how much I'm willing to go through to be there for you.

Maybe its time to quit pushing away, maybe its time to just give in to love and see if its as real as we think, maybe its time to take that risk, maybe the key to both our lives is each other.  In truth, I believe it is, and I believe in you.  Let me be your shield, let me be your harbor, let me be your love.  I'm not looking for someone who has it all together right now, I'm found someone in you who loves me enough to work together and get things together with each other.  When I see you, I see our wonderful future.

Confidence

God didn't intend on anyone to spend life alone, God didn't intend on anyone to be able to conquer all of life's obstacles alone.  God created Eve from Adam's rib because Adam felt alone and needed Eve.  Every man and woman alive needs love and companionship.  God is love, and we are taught to share God with all, so if God is love and we are meant to share Him, then that means God intends us to share our love.

Here is a secret about all men, a secret many men will never admit, but if look closely at all men you'll that this is very true.  No man is truly confident in himself unless the one he loves most is confident in him.  Any man who claims confidence without love is only faking it, and behind closed doors is afraid.  This is so true, a man becomes invincible when the one he loves stands by him.  The woman I love makes me stronger, she makes me confident, she builds me up, she doesn't realize the power she has and the power she puts in me.

I love her completely, for exactly who she is and no matter where she is at in life.  She often waits on love, trying to get to that magic perfect timing place in life, but the reality is, the perfect will never come or it'll come way too late.  Sometimes, you have to find the love first, and then the perfect time falls in place to you both.  Neither of us are in the perfect place, having a relationship now would be a challenge no doubt, little money and a lot of uncertainty for us both at his time.  But I love her, money doesn't matter, a certain future doesn't matter, my love has no conditions.  You see, I believe through our love if you try it, that money and success will surely follow.  I love her at all times, good and bad.  And there is nothing I wouldn't give for her.

She should never feel ashamed of herself, she should never feel she isn't good enough for anyone, because no matter what anyone says I deserve, all I see is her and how much I love her, and in my eyes and heart there is nobody better in this world than her.  Every night I close eyes and dream she is by my side, I dream she is there when I awake and open my eyes, I dream she is there sitting by side at all times, she is always on my mind and she is always my one and only wish in life.  She should never feel ashamed I love her so much, she deserves my love, and I wouldn't dream of giving to anyone else.  She truly is the one person I would change for, she truly is the one person I would take on any challenge for, she has my heart, and all she has to do is believe in herself and our love.  As God as my witness, I am her real love and I will love her and only her until time stands still.  These aren't just words to me, this is my way of life, my love for her defines me, there is nothing more important in this world to me than her.  She can never disappoint me, because I won't allow it, instead when mistakes made I choose to see that as a chance to use our love to make something wonderful and great.  I know she has been hurt before, and I know she is afraid to hurt me, but fear only pulls people apart, I'm not afraid to hurt if she isn't afraid to love me back.  I truly believe in this love more than I believe in life itself.  Let me in, because my door has always been open to you, don't yourself with me, I already chose to love you for being you.  Confidence in a man doesn't come until the one her loves gives it to him.  Money fades, so money is not confidence but a crutch, material things rust, so they are not confidence, but merely a band-aid, love is the only true confidence, a man's love will always make or break him.

No Matter What

I love her, and I'm fully committed to her.  I want to see her succeed and be happy.  I want to see her smile and love her dreams.  I want her to be able to live worry free.  I want her to know she never has to her battles alone in this world.  I don't just want these things for her, I also want to be a part of these things with her.  Nothing she or anyone else says or does will ever change my love for her, it simply isn't possible, and that is just the truth.  I love her so much that she could shoot me and my dying breath would be telling her I love her.  It's not that I'm blind and I don't think she can do no wrong, but rather I don't care if she messes up at times.  Truth is, we all mess up at times, and I look past her mistakes in love.

Reality is thought, she doesn't make as many mistakes as some or herself may think.  She is bold, yet careful, and she isn't afraid to let herself be heard.  She takes risk, and some turn out good and some don't, but that is why they are risk.  But through it all, she doesn't give up on herself.  I see her true heart, and it is a amazing, I know how it feels to be loved by her.  God knows there will be times we butt heads, we are both so stubborn, but the thing is we've always been able to find a way to love each other enough to respect each other.  I'm the careful one, she is the one who takes risk, and in reality when we're together we balance each other out and push each other out of their comfort zones slightly.

And this is a wonderful thing.  Love shouldn't be complacent, she challenges me, and I try to challenge her, and in the end we are both better for it.  We've had a bond for five years now, we've had our ups, and we've had our downs, yet we we've never given up on each other, and the reason is we do love each other for real.  I may be a gentlemen, but I believe she deserves the utmost respect, this woman is a great mother and daughter, and someone I know I can always trust in, she deserves respect always.  But she is a woman whom I confess makes me want to at times drop the gentlemen and let her explore my darker side.  I want to hold her, and be held by her.  I want to hear her voice and laughter.  I want to catch her tears and show her that happy times are coming.  I know neither of us are in good places right now, not really bad places persay, just not where we want to be, but thats the beauty of it, together we can make our lives better and get to where we both need to be.  We work so great together when we try, always have.  Maybe God had this planned, maybe who put us in a rut and similar places on purpose, maybe He wanted us both to she how much we loved each other and how even in bad times we'd both be there for one another.

I love you, to my you are great, and I want to give you the very best in life.  At this point what do we have to lose, why not try, and just maybe we wind up being the best love in each other's lives.  You don't until you try for real.

Can't Describe

Today I was around the woman I love for a while, and all that went through my mind was how much I want be with her and how both beautiful and amazing she truly is.  Today all but verified  how deeply and truly I love her.  It took every ounce of restraint in me to not say something, to not tell her.  Not because I didn't want to tell her, but because the situation between us is complicated.  The thing is she knows I love her, she knows I want and need her, I've told her before, and now the way things are between us, I need her to show me she is ready to give us a chance, and until she does, I will remain silent on my love.

I don't want to push her away, and I will never give up on her and never stop loving her.  Today I was at her mercy, I confess she could of had me do anything today.  It's a hard feeling to describe if you have never felt this love before, it's like the instant I'm near her, no matter what she looks like or is doing, I'm immediately committed to her.  My heart is within her no doubt, and I'm more than ok with this.  I see her in a light that can't be dimmed.  I love her.

I just want to be around her, even if we do nothing but chill next to each other all day.  It's not the situation I'm drawn to, I'm drawn to her.  It's hard holding it in, but I respect her and love her, I want her to make this choice on her own will.  Love on this level is so different, so powerful, so peaceful.  Everything in this world is better when I'm with her.  We barely spoke today, nothing special was said, yet I felt myself  completely falling for her over and over again.  She is so amazing, so great, so beautiful, so smart, so strong, she is the only woman I ever want or need.  She is my everything, and at a moments notice, when she is ready, I am completely her's.

Words simply can't describe how I love her, its a feeling beyond comprehension.

Always Support

It has been a struggle the last couple of months in my life, I have a lot of things going on in my life that honestly I don't know what is going to happen.  I have a lot of problems in my life where I don't know where the solution quite is, yet I trust in God, and honestly I'm not really worried about myself, my worries lie with my friends problems.

Here I am, looking for work, not knowing where money is going to come from long term yet, knowing I could be homeless soon, knowing I face uncertainty, and in doesn't faze me.  I'm more worried about my friend's health, and thinking of ways I can help her and be there for her.  I'm more worried about the woman I love, and thinking of ways to help her find work or ways for me to help get her some money to get by.  I would rather do without things myself than see them suffer, and that is simply who I am.  I could say screw them, I got my own problems to deal with, but I won't,  because I love them, and no matter what anyone thinks of me, their happiness and safety means more to me than I mean to myself.  I get criticized all the time for this, but I've always put those I love first, before myself, and the funny thing is God has also provided for me as a result.  The trick is, to do it honestly and without expecting anything in return.

I know the one I love is struggling, and truthfully I understand her pain more than she knows.  She is scared, she has a daughter to provide for, and all she wants is a chance to prove to can do it, she is questioning herself at times, but she is smart and she stays faithful in her belief in God, as she should.  I want her to understand something, and this is the truth coming from my heart.  Even now, as she struggles to find her way, I believe in her, I love her, I believe she is amazing, strong, beautiful, smart, hard working, dedicated, faithful, savvy, and so many more great things.  I don't just believe in her when she is on top, I actually believe in her more when she is fighting to get back up, it is these moments she needs people to believe in her the most.  When I see her, I don't see weakness, I don't see failure, I see a strong and proud woman not settling for failure, but fighting to achieve what she knows she can achieve, and she will always have my love and support.

I'm not going to give her snide comments about her situation or whatever, because I know her struggle, and I know she is trying her very best, and I believe strongly in her.  This is love, when you love someone completely, circumstances don't matter, because you love them.  I just want to grab her, and hold her tight, and magically make all her problems disappear, even if I have to take them upon myself to relieve her, I would do it.  She is my world, better or worse, I love her, I believe in her, and I want to give her the best and she her attain the best.  Just as I will never give up on her, I want her to understand she should never give up on herself.

Even if he entire world gives up on her, I refuse to give up on her.  I am her rock, I am her shoulder, I am her shield and sword, I am whatever she needs me to be, and deep down she knows everything I say about my love for her is true.  Baby, never look down on yourself, always look up, you are the very best and you will be successful, this I promise on my very life and soul.  Dry your tears, clear your doubts, as long as I live you are never in any battle or struggle alone.  I still see the woman I love stronger than ever.  You simply are amazing, I TRULY LOVE YOU! And that is as real as it gets.

I will never walk away and leave the one I love hurting or struggling.  I'm a humble man, who casts his pride aside, and will gladly go where ever necessary to pick her up, even at the cost of my life.  When God made me and my heart, He made my heart the real deal.  Love isn't visible, love is that invisible connection between two people that nothing and nobody can ever destroy.

Riddle This

Here is a quick little riddle for you:

"The less you have, the more valuable it is, what am I?"

The answer is "Friends", and this rings so true to me.  People who have many friends often take those relationships for granted as they feel somebody else can replace them, yet those that have many friends often times have no true friends.  While on the flip side, those who have few friends cherish them, and go the extra mile to keep them as those friendships is all they have, and those who have few friends often times only have true friends who will always be there for them.  This is me, this is why I value my two friends so much, I only have two people in my life I would honestly claim to be true friends, and they both know who they are, and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them and no length I wouldn't go to be there for them.  These two friendships are all I have, and they are also all I need, I trust these two with my life and dreams, and in many ways they are the most important individuals in my life.  I have many acquaintances, but I'm no fool, I tend to see right through people, I know who will turn on me in a moments notice, and I know who will truly protect me and always be there for me, and these two people I know in my heart will never turn their back to me, and in return I will never turn my back to them.

I don't want a lot of friends, that is not what I seek.  I only need the two I have, they are more than enough to complete who I am.  I trust them completely, and love them both dearly.  I'm willing to carry them both if needed, and if needed I would trust them to carry me.  Friendship is something you casually come across, friendship is a commitment and real friendship is rare to find, I've been blessed with these two wonderful women in my life, God knew what He was doing we brought us all together.  Without them I have nothing, they are my everything in life, and if someone ever tries to pull us apart, then believe me I will fight for them as they our everything to me.

It always seems sad to me, when people with many friends want to take from those with few friends, I guess in their minds it makes them feel dominant, but in reality its really sad.  Because they can comprehend how valuable the friendship their trying to destroy really are, they don't understand have precious a friendship truly is.  Often times they destroy friendships the mean the world to someone, and over time since they have many friends they grow tired of that person, and then you have two former friends who once meant the world to each other alone, and the person who destroyed just moves one to their next person of fancy.

The woman I love is one of my best friends, and the other is her mother, and they blood is thicker than water, but I can say their have been many moments blood has not been their but water has.  My loyalty to them both is unwavering and unquestioned, no matter what lies I here from anyone, my faith and heart lie with them.  My love for both is eternal, and I'll go to the grave loyal to them.  Even when we don't speak, I trust in them completely.  They have earned my respect and friendship, and I have tried hard to earn the same back.  Everything I have in my mind is also their's.  I fell in love with one of my best friends, and to be honest that is one of the greatest feelings in the world, and I wouldn't have it any other way.  And truth be told I have no desire to love anyone else, all I need is her, and all I need is my two friends, if we could all disappear tomorrow I would go and never look back.  Complete trust and love is rare in today's friendships, but I have two friend's who I have both these traits in, and they have mine.  No matter what happens, or what you say, or what you do, my bond with them is eternal, and that is simply the truth.  You wonder why I don't run away from them, because nothing you can give me is worth giving them up and nothing you can do to me is worth giving them up, they to me are priceless, and worth every thing the world can possibly throw at me.

Completely

When you truly completely love someone, you choose to stick by them through the good and the bad.  You choose to support them no matter the cost.  I love her, she is a great woman, and though she is strong she is also human.  She will have her mistakes and weak moments, and I personal vow to be there to pick her up every time, no matter the cause or situation.  To me, in the end, all the matters is her.  Maybe I sound crazy, but her love and who she is, is my entire world.  Without her, not much really matters a lot. 

In life, we all travel searching for the one that makes us whole, the one that gives every day a reason to smile, a reason to grow.  She is my one, she is my sunshine, she is my life.  And although I know she hates being placed on a pedestal, she has to understand I will never let her fall off of it in my eyes.  I simply shake my head when I hear guys complain about the woman they claim to love, to me when you truly love someone it should never be a burden, but rather it should be a blessing to be able to spend what little time on earth you have with the one you truly love with all your heart.  That is why every chance I get to see her or speak to her, I light up, I seize the moment, because when I'm near her, to me I'm in heaven.  She is my blessing, and never my burden.

Even when I should be angry with her, I find myself only loving her more, I truly am completely in love with her inside and out.  I know there are times I might drive her nuts, but if we're both honest, everyone from time to time eventually drives her nuts.  And if she is completely honest, she knows I truly do love her more than anyone else.  And she realizes I will never give up on her.  She truly is one of a kind, strong yet kind, smart yet understanding.  Even at times we don't speak, we both know in silence the love that we share is unbreakable.  Many have tried to pull us apart, and none will ever succeed.  Until the day I die, and maybe even after that, I will always love her and be loyal to her.  No words or pain will ever take that away from me.  I love her, and every breath I take, I pray she is ready to give this love a chance.  She knows all she ever has to do and reach out and claim me.

Stand Tall

People's true character and integrity are shown when they realize they can't fight the truth any longer.  When they realize the truth is too real for them people will get angry, disrespectful and selfish.  They will try to bully their ways upon others, even the one's they claim to love.  God never said under any circumstances to be disrespectful to one another, God always says treat everyone with respect and love, and to always turn the other cheek.  I carry myself in this way, I refuse to disrespectful, I refuse to intentional hurt anyone, I simply stay kind and true to who I am, I speak the truth and I stand by my beliefs.  I remain positive and do everything I can for the one's I love.

I love her, and I always show her respect, I see no reason to change her or break her, truthfully I think changing or breaking her is wrong.  There is a deep bond between us that nobody can destroy simply because this bond is too real, people get scared when they can't live up to this bond between us, and honestly it doesn't bother me, I don't love her and try to be there for her to impress anyone else.  I love her and try to be there for her simply because I truly love her and she truly matters to me no matter where we both might be in life.

I trust in her, she is very smart and very brave, despite what anyone may think, I have never been angry at her and I've never been against her, I choose to believe in her and stand by her and support her.  I keep my mouth shut in public with her because I respect her and love her, and I believe she can handle things herself and if she ever gets overwhelmed she knows she can turn to me.  She realizes I'm the real deal, that I will always put her first, and I'm not afraid to carry her on my back if needed.  Struggles are always real, but I've never backed down from them.

She knows I will never give up on her because I love her too purely, I will endure what I must physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, no pain will run me away.  I love her, and at any moment I am ready and willing to step up and be there by her.  Nothing I've done or said has truly created extra problems, any cracks that are shown now have always been there, they are just now being exposed because people's true colors ultimately always show.  The things with cracks in relationships early on, is they never go away, and the longer the relationship and closer it gets, the more the cracks grow and expand, and sooner or later those cracks consume everything.  My love for her has no cracks, it is complete, and I know this to be true.  When you love someone as I love her, you never walk away, and you never let anyone or anything take it away or push you away.  Even when we don't speak, I know in my heart she will always be there.  She has my complete trust and appreciation, I don't anyone should ever threaten her or place her in a corner, she is too amazing for that.  She knows herself, she knows her heart, and in the end she will follow it, don't push her too far, she will devour you without a second thought, she knows how to stand her ground, and honestly that is one of the traits about her I love the most, her strong heart, mind and soul.  Sometimes I wonder if even she realizes how great she is.

Everything

Sometimes people make mistakes, and people learn from mistakes, but the thing is if you love someone you can't hold that mistake against them for life.  You have to give them a chance to show you they've learned and can fix things.  Flip the script, would you want to one you love to hold your mistake against you for life, and if they did, just how would much do you think it would hurt you, it cuts deep.

People aren't perfect, and no matter how high or low your expectations are, it is inevitable people will make mistakes.  You can't keep pushing people away because they made mistake, sometimes it really is innocent and unintentional.  You can't expect perfection, you can't expect someone to get it all right the first try.

Love, when its real is stronger than any mistake, and if someone hurts you with a honest mistake and they love you, they will do whatever possible to fix things and try to not repeat that mistake, but if you love them you have to give them a chance to do better.  Don't cast them aside as if their love means nothing and say they can figure it out somewhere else, that isn't love, that's simply saying you believe you're perfect and that the person who loves you is worthless, that is the message you send when you refuse to forgive, and I mean really forgive and give love a chance, not just say you forgive yet really hold it against them for life.

Sometimes people make mistakes, but they do so for good intended reasons.  They may seek advice because you mean so much to them that they don't want to mess things up, is that such a bad thing that they love you that much.  And maybe they didn't realize they were hurting you, did you ever tell them and give them a chance to listen and make things right, or did you mad and push them away.

I love you, mistakes were made no doubt, but you never allowed us a chance to work things out, you just walked out without trying.  And the sad part is, it was a mistake that could have been easily fixed if given a chance.  You keep focusing on the mistake, yet you always overlook the fact you never made an attempt to work through it, and deep down you know my love is real, and you know it is worth saving, and you know you gave up way to easily and quickly.  I still love you, and you still can go back, but if you keep expecting perfection you'll never find it.  Don't settle on love, when you know in your heart things can be fixed with someone who love's you for real.  Listen to your heart, it knows the truth.  Our love has stayed in tact for years and survived so much, deep down you know that means something truly deep.

It's not that some people never understand or learn, it's you never gave them a chance to practice what they learned.  You yourself had to learn at one time.

Eternal

Struggle, a word thrown around way too much, a word everyone has experienced, yet so many want to pretend only they have struggled.  What exactly is struggle?  Truthfully, struggle depends on the individual, struggle comes in many forms, truth be told everyone has struggled in life at one point or another.

Is being six years old and sleeping at the church because your family was evicted because your Dad was too drunk to pay the mortgage struggling?  If so, then I have struggled.  Is having nothing to eat but toast and cereal for a week while still elementary school struggling?  If so, then I have struggled.  Is losing your freedom for months and being at the mercy of someone beyond your control?  If so, then I have struggled.  Is growing up with a father who openly admits you and your siblings were the worst ting to happen to him struggling?  If so, then I have struggled.  Is growing up not knowing if you would have food tomorrow struggling?  If so, then I have struggled.  And I could on and on.  My point is simple, before you wallow in your on struggles and pity, and think you are alone in you struggles, think about the fact that everyone is struggling at some point, many times they're struggle is worse then your's.  We all have our secrets, we all have our scars, some just choose to bare them on their own.

I'm not lessening anyone's struggle, but why preach and dwell on your struggles, maybe at the time you can't do much with your own, but if you can lessen another person's struggle, then maybe you should, because maybe that's the key to your struggle, maybe you're being tested by God.  Sometimes you have to stop seeing things from just your point of view, sometimes stepping out of your box and realizing there is a world around you is a great thing.

Don't be a martyr, don't be your excuse, don't be a complainer, don't be the problem, but rather be a solution, be a helper, be the positive influence, be more than about yourself.  Sometimes the key to fixing yourself is being there to help other's with their struggles.  God always said our real treasures lie in His kingdom in Heaven, and not here on earth, maybe we all should start listening to Him. 

True love, here a quick test, most people truly love their child, especially mothers, they would do anything to provide and do what is best for their child, that is the very essence of true love.  If you truly love someone or they truly love you, they should be willing to go to those same lengths for each other.  A mother often will put her child before herself, and this is right.  So my question is simple, the one you claim to love, would you be willing to put them before yourself and go to any lengths to be there for them, and my second question, would the one you love do the same for you, and answer honestly.  If the answer is no on either, then true love is not there.  I for one can honestly say I always put the one I love before myself, and I always will, and she knows that, and if anyone dares to challenge me on that they will truly find out I'm the real deal.  I do not sway or falter on my love for her, I am rock solid in it.  You cannot break my love, and she knows this, as would walk through Hell for my love for her, physical wounds heal, mental scars fade, emotional tears soften, pain is temporary, but my love for her is eternal, and that my friends is the God's honest truth.

Opinions

Never tell someone they have to accept your opinion, and I know sometimes it might be the truth, but let me tell you why you can't say or expect that.  Your opinion is just that, it is your opinion, no matter how right or wrong you think you might be, the simple truth is it is your opinion.  And what makes your opinion better than another person's opinion, why can't the roles be reversed and you just accept their opinion.  Don't like that do you?  Well, thats how the other person feels when you tell them to accept your opinion.  In either case, it isn't right.

We all have understand that every being in this world is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions, and ultimately we must allow God, and God alone, to judge us for them, it isn't our place.  The truth is, anything really is possible in life, you should never say never because you simply have no clue what life will bring, situations change, lives change, environments change, things change almost daily.  Someone you once said never about, might become your one and only because things changed.  How many things you do today or people you talk to today would you have said never about just ten years ago, things always change.  People rise, people fall, its the only true constant in life other than God. 

I love her, she knows this, and deep down she knows she loves me, but right things are what they are.  I believe in space and freedom when you love someone, I have to step back and let her make mistakes, and figure some things out, let find her path, let her make right and wrong choices, but by loving I need to be willing to aid her when she needs it, to simply hold her up, keep her smiling, keep her laughing, keep her positive.  Love isn't just physical, it isn't just about money or status, it isn't just about not being alone, love is loving someone so much you to build them up, you want them to be even greater than you, love humbles you, love will test you, love is good timesand love has bad times, but love, real love, always survives. 

My love for her has survived so many things, and maybe that is what baffles her.  She sees my love is real, and she knows I won't give up on her, and in a crazy way she loves that, its just now she needs to realize that is what real love is, and real love is right for her.  My house is her house, my money is her money, my car is her car, my life is her life, whats mine is her's because I love her, and I put her before everything in life other than God Himself.  That's love, and anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't understand love.  How can you love someone and hurt them for personal gain, you can't, real love means sacrifice, but its giving something up for yourself knowing the love you gain is worth so much more.

I love her, everytime I see her I light up, even if it's just in passing.  She doesn't get it, a simple hi makes me feel like the most important person alive.  I would live to sit and talk, but until she makes the offer to meet up, we won't have the chance.  Right now, I can't ask her to go out, I can't ask her to hang out, the way things right now I have to respect where she is at, and if we do spend time together she has to make it happen, and believe me I want that and will say yes.  I refuse to support cheating of any kind, I won't date someone unless I know they aren't cheating, its a moral thing with me, plus if someone is cheating on someone to be with you, what would stop them from doing the same to you down the road, in many cases cheaters almost never truly change forever, they deserve a second chance, but understand 99% of the time it happens, I know I've seen it more often than not within my only family and friends. 

That is why, she is my one and only love, that is why I am so loyal.  When I say I love you, it means something, I don't tell just anyone I love them, truthfully how many times have you ever heard me say I love you to anyone verbally, it doesn't happen often, so when I say it, it definitely means something.  I've been a little depressed lately, I'm missing my family's annual trip to Gatlinburg this weekend, and I really need time away from life in general, the last 4 or 5 vacations I've planned have been canceled for crazy reasons, but I trust God.  The job search is up and down, I hoped to be working by now, but I know God will pull me through, but I know I need to stay positive, and I don't want other's to know I'm hurting, its my burden to bare, I'm strong enough, very few people ever know what I have on my shoulders, and God knows how strong I am.  I have some of the strongest shoulders in the world, believe that.  Hopefully I didn't skip too many words or make too many typos in this, I rarely proofread them.

Not Lost Forever

Not all choices in life are final, there are times you can go back and reclaim what was once thought to be lost.  Those who stop you don't always do so for your best interest, many times they stop you because what you can go back to might just be better than what you have.  The truth is, you never know until you try.  That's the beauty of life, it truly is unpredictable, you never know if a choice is right until you make it, you never know a risk is worth it until you risk it.  Sometimes you will fall and sometimes you will rise, but you will always live life by your terms.

If you person is willing to take a second a chance on you, then believe me they will take you back.  Emotions, when strong enough, never truly leave someone, love strong enough never truly dies, therefore if given the proper chance, you can reclaim it as it once was, sometimes you can even reclaim better than it ever was.  Never let anyone tell you can't go back to someone or something without trying, nobody knows you better than you, and everyone isn't always looking for what is just best for you, they often times take themselves into consideration.

Just because you hurt someone, or they hurt you, doesn't mean that the two of you can't forgive one another and renew what you had.  It takes trust, love and effort to make it so.  But with the right approach it is more than possible, and think about it this way, a person whom you hurt tremendously love you so much they are willing to forgive you and love you the same again, that is the very definition of true and unconditional love.  Now don't get me wrong, sometimes you really can't go back, sometimes people can't forgive, but that isn't all the time.

I love her, and despite what we've gone through, I will always love her.  We've argued, but we've also laughed and loved.  The thing is, I believe the good between us far outweighs the bad, I understand people have disagreements, but I also understand forgiveness and understanding.  Love when true and pure is unshakeable, my arms and heart will always be open to her.  You can always come back to what once was, all you have to do is believe in yourself and love.  Only a fool would say you can never go back, because only a fool has never tried.  I never burnt any bridges with her for a reason, I love her, and I welcome her back at any time without a second though and with no ill will.  I choose to look past any mistakes between us, and instead focus on my love for her and the future that we can truly create.  Sometimes, going back is the right choice, we live, we make mistakes, we learn, and there are times God allows us another chance to make up for said mistakes.

Big Risk

I dream big, I follow my heart, I always play things a million times in my head at night, but even when they go wrong in my head, if my heart pushes me, I almost always take the risk.  Life is meaningless and boring if you don't pursue your dreams and what/who you love most.  Success in pointless if you can't share with who you love.  Many people will argue with me on this at first, but in the end we all come to learn these truths sooner or later.

God made many of us for a reason, He understood that true happiness is sharing life with those we love, sharing our dreams with those we love, loving someone with all our heart and finding someone to love us the same.  God is right, life is a journey, a journey not meant to travel alone for anyone.  I might change my ways from time to time, my mind might jump all over the place, but I promise my dreams and goals never change, just the path may change from time to time.  Life throws us curveballs everyday, I've learned to adapt seamlessly.  I have a natural ability to blend in, and find ways to succeed in any environment.

I've never met a challenge I've been afraid to take on, sometimes these challenges kick my ass, but I never stay down, and eventually I always find a way to overcome them, and sometimes I blow right through the challenges with ease.  I've been through Hell physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, and guess what, I'm still standing tall.  Confidence isn't bragging or boasting, confidence is knowing no matter what anyone says or does to you, no matter what life throws at you, that you know without saying a word you will conquer it.

Never give up, if you dream is real or love is real, never give up, because the moment you give up, you confess your dream or love wasn't real, you confess you are not worthy of your dream or love.  I'm a humble man, but I know I'm great and love myself as a person should.  I don't put myself above anyone, I believe God made us all equal, just some of us choose to make more of ourselves than others, but in the end, it is just a choice.

I love her, and maybe I chase her, but I don't care, I don't give up on her simply because I love her.  She has my heart, and every time I see her it is the highlight of my life, even if we don't speak, just seeing her makes me feel immortal.  I dream big, with her by my side I honestly believe we could take on the world, no exaggeration.  Thats how confident I am in her and my love.  Today I saw her, I meant to speak, and it was no big deal really, but I hate passing up a chance to speak to her, it might not mean much to her, only she can answer that, but to me it means the world.

I dream of the day she finally takes the risk on us, she finally tells me she is ready to give love a chance.  Every day I want to just go up to her and tell her everything, prove to her our love is more than real.  She is the only person in the world I grow weak against, the only person in the world I would do anything for, nobody else has that power over me.  And what is crazy, is I'm more than happy to give her that power.  Thats love, I'm not here to judge her, I'm not here to tell her what to do, I'm here to love her, help her, provide for her, stand with her.  My life and heart in so many ways belong to her, and I'm not ashamed of that.

She sometimes takes things I say or write way to serious, and to be honest 90% percent of the time I talk with her I'm being a smart ass, truth is, with her I'll tell her when I'm serious.  Many times though, I just want to share a laugh with her, I might jab at her, wanting her to jab back.  Maybe it's flirting in a way, but I love a person with a sense of humor.  In her  heart she truly knows I will prove to her to be a great man and successful, in my heart I already know she is great, together we can be the greatest, we just both have to realize it and take the risk together.  No matter what we must do, where we must go, or what we must give up, I for one am ready to risk it all for her, for us.  I won't let you fall, and whatever you must give up, I promise not only to replace it, but to make it better than you could have ever dreamed of.  I dream big, I promise big, and I always deliver big.

Truth Check

Life is not easy for anyone, and it really gets old when people blame their race, sex, other races, money, opportunities, and every other excuse in the world for why life isn't perfect for them.  Here is a reality check to everyone of any race or sex, you are where you are in life because of the choices you made, it is nobody elses fault but your own, and nobody can make it better but yourself with the future choices you make.  Everyone struggles, I'm a white male and have been told multiple times I can't be promoted or given a grant because I'm a white male.  Go to any major city, and you'll see just as many white homeless people as any other race.  Their are white people who are in jail because they didn't have money for a lawyer who could get them justice.

Don't let your blind hate for another race or sex or person blind you from reality and the truth.  History is history, you can't just choose which parts to acknowledge or you are doomed o repeat it.  In today's world you have to capitalize on the opportunities given to it, it doesn't matter what race you are, if you don't grab your opportunities then they will pass you by no matter who you are.  Stop blaming history for your mistakes, own up to what your life is, be a man or woman of integrity.

Its really sad people have to try to get things for stuff that happened to people who are long passed, stop capitalizing on someone elses pain, stop creating hate for the sake of getting something given to you.  Earn what you get, help all have better lives despite race or sex.  I know the truth hurts, but it is the truth.  I am a white man, and I've been screwed over more than a few times, I've had good things taken for me simply because someone didn't like me, and I don't dwell on them, instead I hold my head up, and thank God for who I am, and go out and make my life a better place and make those around me happier every chance I get.

God rewards kindness, God rewards love, God doesn't want us to be lazy and have things just given to us.  Racism is hatred towards any race, if you hate black people, then you are a racist, if you hate mexicans, then you are a racist, if you hate whites, you are a racists, it doesn't matter who your friends our, if there is hate in your heart for any race, you are a racist.  I try hard in life to never judge a person on race, looks, money, sex, or anything outward.  Learn to love one another, and treat each other with mutual respect, I treat everyone the same, I give to all I love, I have always practiced equality.  I don't want to be superior, I don't want any race to be superior, I want everyone to be colorblind to race.  All races have suffered at some point in time, white slaves in Europe were actually used as whipping boys for when nobles got in trouble, and I could go on and on through history where all races at some point in time abused another race, all races have seen both sides of the struggle, learn your history, all history is true even if you it doesn't benifit your cause.

Its sickening to me, when violence happens and any person tries to make money or fame off of it.  There is a special place in Hell for those who make profit on or take pleasure in innocent people's pain.  Ignoring history is the most deadly of mistakes and the most ignorant as well.  I'm not saying racism is dead, no, there are sad and bad people out there in all races, but the more we make it a way of life, the more we keep going back to it, the worse off we make things for everyone in the world.  I for one want racism to die of all kinds, I want a world where our kids to live in harmony and move forward not backwards in time.  Bad things took place in the past, repeating those bad things even if roles are reversed solves nothing, fight for equality for all. 

Stop being a sheep, stop giving in to the hate, that hate is exactly what they want you to fall for, as long as you hate then the media and government own you.  Rise above the prejudice, rise above the hate, rise above the ignorance. the human soul has no race, our souls are all the same color.  practice the equality you preach, walk the walk.  Do what God says, give with a giving heart, and turn the other cheek, let God be the judge, judge not lest thou be judged.  If you believe God's word, then believe it all, not just the parts that you like.  And all those who quote the old testament laws that are outdated, don't forget in the new testament Paul states those laws are no longer necessary as Jesus died on the cross for our repentance.  So they may be sins still, but not punishable by death as we can repent our ways thanks to the cross Jesus died upon and rose from. 

I love all people equally, I reward those who treat other's with kindness and respect, I reward those who love all, I reward those who do things the right way.  Wake up already, you are smarter than this hate, and deep down you know the truth is right, and you know causing paint to someone else is not right, you know blaming someone else for your failures is not right, start living in reality and in the truth.  Nobody likes the truth, because the truth is too real.  My best friends, both of them are black, and they are my friends because I love who they are, it has nothing to do with race or sex, I love how great their hearts our, how sharp their minds are, and how they treat all equally.  Some of my worst enemies are white, because I loathe how they treat others, but I also have friends of all races, and enemies of all races, the simple fact is, I see people for who they are, for their hearts, for how they treat other's, look past the colors and all people will learn to live together in equality and happiness.

I am white, I have hit rock bottom multiple times, I have been homeless, I have been completely broke, I have lost my freedom, I have been alone, yet I have risen to the top multiple times because I refuse to stay down or blame others.  We all dictate our lives, own up to it.  God says there will be peaks and valleys for all in life, and He didn't lie.  To say a person hasn't struggled or succeed because of their race is the most insulting and ignorant thing a person can ever say or think, no matter who says it.  The world revolves around nobody.  God rewards those who have a kind and giving heart.

Forever

I love her to the end of time and back, and I for one have always believed you don't give up on love, especially real love.  I pray for guidance, patience and a pure heart, and God always delivers.  I always try to stay positive and spread kindness, I never try to spread pain or negativity.  I believe in seeing the cup half full, and making people's lives better any chance we get.

I will always stand with her, defend her, go to war on her behalf.  She is the one who makes me smile, laugh, happy and complete.  She is my everything, and yet I choose to wait for her to figure things out on her own terms.  I believe in giving her space, and room to make her own mistakes and successes.  But no matter what her choices lead to, I will always love her and stand with her.  You don't bail on someone you love just because things get difficult, you stick by them through it all, good or bad.   I am loyal to a fault, she will always be my number one, in fact she will always be my only one.  When I love her, I don't need anyone or anything else to be happy for life.  I am blessed with her in my life.

Thoughtful

Truth is, I think about her all the time, I love her, I wonder how she is doing, I'm praying for her success and happiness, I'm thinking of ways I can be there for her and support, she is the first thing I think of in the morning, and the last thing I think of before I fall asleep, and I even think about her in my dreams.  She is everything to me, I love her unconditionally.  Everything I say or write of my love for her is well thought out, and truth be told words can do no justice to how much I love her.

I don't just want her, I need her, loving someone completely is easy when its real.  For me its so easy to love her, because its something that is as much a part of me as my soul.  I believe in her, I believe in my love for her, and my belief is unshakable.  I've thought long and hard for years of my love for her, and everytime I realize its real.  Belief is truly a powerful thing, and I believe in this love for her.

I believe so much so, that I place it in God's hands, and I trust her enough to come to me on her own when she figures things out.  I just want her to know I'm always ready, no matter where I am in life, I am ready.  When your truly in love with someone, nothing can stand in your way.  I know without a shadow of a doubt what I feel in my heart and soul, and it is wonderful and real.

Real Stuff

For the woman I love, I don't write or say things to sway her, I would never try to tell her what is best for her or what decisions to make, I don't feel that is anybody's place but her own.  I won't try to tell her what anybody else is doing or thinking for her, it is up to her to make those decisions on her own.  You see I trust her, I believe she is more than smart enough to make the right choices in her life, I have faith in her mind, soul and heart, that is love, that is trust.  Nobody knows what is best for her but herself in truth.  I for one believe in her.

All I can do is tell her how I love her, and what I'm willing to do for her and us.  I am willing to both die and live for her, now I'm not saying I would lay my life down just because, but if there was no other option to make sure she lived happily, then yes, I would do what is necessary for her.  But more importantly I would live for her, placing her needs before my own without regret, placing our families needs before my own without a second thought, that is who I am and how I love her.  You see, I don't want to win her with money or material things, I don't want to trick her into loving me, I don't want to win her with looks or sex.  I want to win heart because she realizes my love is real, and I would do anything to protect, provide and live in happiness with her.  That is real love, and when you have real love, all those other things like money, sex and so on tend to fall into place.

When she met me, I had nothing, I was beyond struggling, yet she didn't care, she treated me with love and happiness, and truthfully through my struggles I met a woman that I love like no other.  It makes no sense to most, but the fact that she could love me even when I had nothing meant everything to me, it made me want to become something so I could prove her love wasn't misplaced.  She had no idea at the time I was at rock bottom, but through God's grace she picked me up.  I remember I was on the L-Seal and she came to help with some other's one day because they were waiting on work, but she spoke so kindly and at the time I thought nothing of it, but we both got moved to Paintfill, and when she saw me she spoke to me as if we were long time friends, and she made me feel special, and God has us moved to our own Packaging shift, the work sucked, but our friendship blossomed, I remember looking forward to working because I would get to talk to her, the nights she called out really bummed me out, but when she was there I was on cloud nine.  We soon got placed on different shifts, and I missed her ever since, I'd make excuses to go see her, but I didn't care.  She left the place we worked, and it crushed me, even if I knew she made the right choice, after a few weeks she texted me, I was beyond happy, I asked her out as a friend, she said yes, and that was the happiest night of my life, I had to work the following morning so I had to leave much earlier than I wanted, to this day I wish I would of stayed longer and not gone to work.  Misunderstandings happened, I made some mistakes, but I learned, in my fear of losing her I turned to her mother because I knew she would look out for us both, and I don't regret that because her mother and I became best friends and for that I have been eternally grateful.  Things were rough, but through time we worked it out.  I still love her, I can't give up on her, she truly is the love of my life. 

She doesn't realize what she did for me, but she doesn't have too, because she was simply being who she is and that is what she did for me, she didn't hide herself, she was exactly who she is and that meant the world to me.  She let me into her life, you can't do more for a person. I might not be perfect, I will make mistakes, but I will always love her completely and do my very best to be there for her and do what I can to help her.  One thing she can honestly say about me is I have never allowed my morals or integrity to be changed, I stay true to who I am and what I believe in, and I believe in her and doing things the right way and treating all as equals.

With me you know I will never give up on us, I will never stop loving you, and I will always fight by your side.  You always wondered why I loved you so much and what you did for me, now you know.  You truly are a blessing from God whether you realize it or not, you completely changed my life for the better, I can never let that go.  I won't tell you what to do, I want you to choose on your own in time, but I do love you, and if we ever get our chance I swear on my life I won't disappoint you and I will always love and protect you, or die trying.  You are my everything.

Simple Things

It's the simple moments that mean the most to me.  Nothing really happened, but I got to spend some chill time with the woman I love and a little girl that makes me smile everytime I see her.  We didn't talk about anything really, just killing time and relaxing.  But the thing is I was really at peace and happy during that time.  No stress, just people who truly care for one another spending time together.  That is pretty much what makes me happy, spending time with her and those around her, I enjoy chilling and just having fun, it doesn't matter what we talk about or what we do, as long as we do it together.  I love her, and it's crazy but in that brief moment today, I was the happiest I've been in years.  She has that affect on me, and I thank her for it.  It was a well needed pleasant surprise to my day.

More Alike

One thing people who truly know and understand me know about me is that I watch, observe, listen and try my best to be impartial in all things.  For almost five years now, the one woman I truly love, we have been there for each other, had each other's back, and deep down loved one another truly.  Five years doesn't happen by chance, there has to be a real connection there, there has to be some real feelings.  I've watched her, listened to her, tried to understand her, see things from her view, been thankful for her, and been there for her at all times these past years, and honestly I'd do it again.  There have been times we weren't on the same page, but the crazy thing is, more often then not we have had great times together.

We always focus on how different we are, and we do have our differences, but deep inside we really are almost the exact same in our hearts.  I know her more than she realizes, and deep down I understand she knows me more than I like to admit, and this is a good thing.  She acts tough and she acts as if she is doing only for herself, but reality is I know she truly has a heart for giving and doing for those she loves, she struggles sometimes when she doesn't see the results she expects, she is fully aware of what will happen if she fails, after all she is human just like everyone else.  She is selfless, and deep down kind and generous, she sometimes has trouble understanding her own love, she is torn by what she thinks she wants and what she knows she needs.  But the thing is, one thing I really love about her is she doesn't allow any of these things to show or hold her back, though she has her fears and doubts, she always moves forward and does her best to come out on top.  She will put the one's she loves before herself when push comes to shove, and this is a great trait.  She isn't afraid to buck the trend, to start her own style, and this is truly admirable.

Irony is we both are selfless, we both want to do for those we love first and find our happiness in these results.  That is exactly why we work so well together, by loving each we want to do for each other, and as a result together we build us both up and grow, and honestly that to me is the ultimate love.  We both often struggle giving so much, that at times we might get less back, but when we're together we don't have that problem.  This is why we both struggle with selfish people, while initially we are ok as they let us give for them, in the end we find ourselves empty when selfish people don't always give a little back and our dreams go unfulfilled, time has a way of exposing things.  Thankfully neither of us our selfish people.  We do have different approaches, but once again this is a good thing because we have the same end result goals, so by having different approaches we can build on each other and find a mixture of our approaches that is perfect.  We have learned more from each other than either of us will openly confess, and yet we remain by each other's side, and will defend each other in the blink of an eye.

She has hard time when someone loves her completely or places all their faith in her, she is afraid she can't live up to the expectations, but that is all in her head.  When I love her and believe in her completely, I never expect her to be perfect, I know she will stumble, but because I love her and believe in her, I will pick her back up and place her back on the pedestal and love and believe in her even more than I did before.

Neither of us likes to confess our love openly, it just isn't who we are and we're afraid of being hurt, but in private all bets are off.  Some of my best talks have been with her, I feel at ease, and I enjoy listening to her.  I never question her heart or effort, and I know she can succeed.  We are more the same than we are different, our covers might differ on the outside, but inside we truly are the same.

She shows her selfless side everytime when she is with her family, when she cooks, when she consoles, when she smiles and laughs.  I see it in her love for her mother and daughter, and at times I see it when she sticks be me.  She is truly one of a kind, and I will never find another her.  The more time that passes, the more I want to love her and be there for her and do things with her.  I truly understand her more than she knows, and I know her more than she realizes, and yet knowing her like I do I still completely love her for life.

Let me do for you, and I'll step back and let you do for me, and as a result we'll both be doing for us.  Deep down we both know we can trust each other and always depend on each other no matter what, deep down we know we love each other, maybe its time we finally showed and told each other.  Five years we've stuck together, and these five years with you have been the greatest five years I've ever spent with anyone, and I mean that, I love you.

Not Afraid

I could play the game, I could play the role that world says every guy should play, I could be that sheep, I could, but I won't.  God made me better than that, and honestly we all should be better than that.  I'm not going to act tough persay and pretend I don't miss you and pretend I don't need you and pretend I don't love you because that is how the game is suppose to be played by world standards.  Here is the thing though, I'm not every other man.  I believe it takes bravery, courage and true love to open your heart and be honest about who you miss, love and need in life.

Why act tough and lie, when reality is we could be gone tomorrow and never have another chance.  The world did not make me, God gives us life, therefore God makes us, in fact He does so in His image.  I'm no puppet, never will be, and honestly I believe nobody should ever be a puppet, I say be yourself, love who you are, and love who you love, and don't be afraid to admit it, because tomorrow you might not be able to tell them anymore. 

So this is why I confess I love you, this is why I'm not afraid to admit I need you and that you make me happy even when I should be sad.  I love you when its right, and I'll love if it's wrong, simply put I will always love you.  My love for you is a vital part of who I am, and quite honestly I love who I am, and I especially love the part of who I am that loves you.  I'm not afraid to protect, I'm not afraid to provide for you, I'm not afraid to put you first, I'm not afraid to be there for you, I'm not afraid to risk everything to be with you, I'm not afraid to love you, in fact I'm proud to love you.  You are great, and never forget it.

Actions Speak

Actions speak so much more then words ever will.  A person can hear things a million times, but if you don't step up and show it, then they won't believe it.  If you love someone, then show it.  If you need someone, then show it.  If you miss someone, then show it.  If you want to change things, then show it.  I could go on and on with scenarios, but you get the point.

I fight like hell to keep you in my life, I would walk through hell itself and even stay the night, to keep you in my life.  I love you that much, you mean that much to me, I don't care if I look like fool loving you, I'm not worried about my image like that, the simple truth is I love you.  Don't you get it?  You matter a lot to me, I think you're amazing, I know you are worth the struggle.

Time after time, I have shown in my actions that I love you, I give endlessly and never demand any payback.  I make time for you in the drop of a hat.  I find ways to make things possible when you need someone most.  When you're hurting I do what I can to console you and help if I can.  I pray for you, and you're happiness.  I do everything I can in my power to show you I love you and respect you.  My actions have always spoken louder than any words I say or write, but the crazy part is, I'm one of the few whose words match my actions.  I'm the dependable one, the one who tries hard to keep his promises to you, the one who truly puts you first in his life.  The one who truly cares about your dreams and happiness.  And the thing is, I know you know this, but for some reason you choose to run away from it.

You'll never be happy if you run from those who truly love you, and try to understand you, and do everything to be there for you.  I have never tried to undercut you, I have always tried to push you further and higher than even I have been.  Seeing you happy and successful truly is the key to my happiness.  You always say for me to do things to make me happy, and what you just never seem to understand is what makes me happy is doing things I know bring you happiness and success.  I'm not worried about me, I know I'll be fine, doing for the one's I love, especially you, now that is pure happiness to me.  To see your smile, your laugh, and know I caused it makes me the happiest person alive.  So when I do for you, I'm also making myself feel happy and complete as well knowing I brought you something special.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, and I love you forever for that.  I will always find a way to be there for you at any time, anywhere and no matter what, all you have to do you is find me and ask.  I'm the one who you could show up in the middle of the night at my doorstep, and I'd find a way to help you, I'm the one you could move across the country and lose it all, yet you call me and I'm there asap to help.  You are my priority, my number one, I love you, and quite honestly you deserve to be on the pedestal, because rather you realize it or not, you are amazing and the greatest love I;ll ever know.

Reminds Me Of

Here is a link that really in a weird way reminds me of me and the woman I love when we're together:

http://www.cbs.com/shows/big_bang_theory/photos/1004868/love-takes-time-the-evolution-of-penny-and-leonard/

You might have to copy and paste it if the link isn't clickable.  But while the situations aren't identical, the dynamic is.  I know I love her, she loves me but just isn't ready to admit it.  And I am willing to give her space and let things play out, because in the end I truly believe my love is real enough to win out.  And she runs anytime I love her for the right reasons, and I wonder if she runs because she realizes I'm the real deal.  But the thing is, guys like me who don't just jump at any woman out there, well we only go for a woman we truly love and feel is everything we need and want for life, and we never choose lightly, and we never give up because our love is real.

I've always been there for her, even when she didn't want me to, and she has always been there for me.  We both know there is something there between us, and we both know its real.  We're different, yet we love each other the same, and in a way out goals and dreams aren't that different, we've just lead different paths to one another.  I can be awkward, I know, but it's because I don't want to mess things up with her.  She can be distant, and I think that's because she is scared of real love and emotion, and doesn't know how to handle it.

I'm not giving up, I've worked very hard to win her love, and she is the only love I need and want in life.  I work hard to better myself in a effort to show her how great my love is, and prove to her I can be there for her always.  Yeah, we aren't a typical couple by any means, but I wouldn't want to face life with anyone else but her, no matter how strange our love is.  Normal is boring, I choose to be unique, I choose to go against what the world dictates, I choose to love her for life.  Just check the link, I really feel this strongly about my love for you.

There Are Times

It's tough, because there are times I feel like you punish me for loving you so much, and I know that isn't true, but sometimes that's how it feels.  Reality is, I know you have a hard time believing someone can love you that much and that true, maybe you never felt love like this before and its just hard for you to wrap your mind around.  Love doesn't always make sense, sometimes love defies all logic.  What you need to ask yourself is why do I refuse to give up on you?  Why do I love you so much? 

But the bottom line is, it doesn't really matter why, what matters is that I do.  That I back what I say and feel 100% and all the time.  My actions have always supported the love I have for you.  You can't plan love, you can't think about how it will work out, love is something that only works if you give it a real chance. 

I pan everything in life, it's why I'm always prepared for things, and always have back up plans, it's just how I am, I'm not reckless at all.  I believe in long term solutions, not quick fixes.  I love you, and to me you are a queen, and I love you so much that I want to make sure we have a plan and situation to last a lifetime, to set us up for life.  I fight to leave a legacy that lasts, not a get by a day at a time type.

You have to understand one common universal truth in life, we are all one mistake away from rock bottom at any given moment.  That is why you have to understand and treat everyone with the same respect and kindness, be humble, be true to each other.  Just because you don't understand my love, or you feel you can't live up to my love, doesn't mean it isn't true.  I've told you all along, you've already lived up to my love, all you ever have to do is trust in yourself and my love enough and let things work out.  You never have to face anything in life alone, all you ever have to do is ask and I'm there, and you know that is true.  I love you, I always will.

Freedom

I love her, and right now I just want to say some things on how I feel about her.  What I want to give her and support her with my love, I want her to be free to explore herself and dreams, I want to grow together and be happy together.  I don't want to hold her down, but rather let your grow and spread her wings to see just how great I already know she is.  I want to be her partner, friend and lover for life so she knows she never has to battle life alone.  I love her open mind, I love her curiosity, she pulls away when I love her, yet she understands my love is real, she just understand how I can love her so true and pure, but the thing is she doesn't have to understand, just simply embrace it and explore it.  I'm not demanding her love, I would never do that, but I'm making it clear I love her completely, and if she chooses so, my love will always be there for her for life.

She doesn't need to be controlled, she needs to be supported while she freely explores her dreams.  That is what I'm willing to give her with complete loyalty.  I don't need her all the time, if she commits to our love I know she'll always be there for me, and that is more than enough for me.  She has a great heart just like me, she wants justice and for people to treat each other right.  She is fair, but struggles everyday sorting things out in her head.  She doesn't need to be held down to the ground, she needs someone to hold her hand and fly with her, and I'm willing to, for better or worse.

I love her dreams, I love her ideals, in a weird way, as different as we are, our dreams and ideals are very much the same.  I could easily follow her to success and be happy for life.  I want her to be her, I want her to know she is able to always think for herself, I want her to know she is smart and kind, I want her to know she doesn't need to change for love, because I love her just the way she is.  I know she doesn't trust easy, but I'm ready to open myself to you and prove to you that you can trust in my love.  I'm ready this, have been for a while, in many ways I myself have been searching for a fresh start. I've always believed in us as a team, that we could be unstoppable.  I love you, you deserve freedom, you deserve your dreams, and I want to help you have both.  I truly love you.  All you have to do is give this love a real chance, I promise you I won't let you down.

Paths

Nobody said love was easy, but if you love someone completely then it is always worth it.  When I met the woman I love, I wasn't looking for love at all, in fact I was doing the opposite, I was trying to avoid love.  And the irony is, she is the opposite of everything I was looking for in love my whole life, and when I first met her I had no interest in her in that way, she was just not my type I guess is a way to put it, she broke every rule I had in place about love.

But time went on, and she always there for me, to make smile, to make me laugh, to make me feel wanted and needed, to give my life meaning again.  I don't when I fell for her, but God knows I fought it.  To this day, I believe God brought us together for a reason, because now I see her as the perfect woman in my life.  She wasn't what I was looking for, but she is everything I ever need.  She knows nothing of my life prior to when we met, if she knew how far I had fallen and how high she managed to lift me up, maybe it would make more sense to her why I believe how crazy the odds were that she and I ever even met.

Now, I can't imagine loving anyone else, I can't imagine my life without her, in many ways if it weren't for her, I would've given up on myself years ago, I was that low.  She doesn't realize what she did for me, because she didn't realize she was doing it when she did.  It's why I'm eternally grateful to her, it's why I would do anything for her.  It's why I can't give up on her.  Love is unexplainable, it me falling for her defies all logic.  We are different, but the is, the ways we are different is perfect in complimenting each other, I can be her calmness, she can be my edge, and we both know we need that in life.

One thing about me is I'm up front, I love everything I say, and I believe in what I do.  I always show my true colors, and I never fade, she knows this about me.  I want her to succeed, even more than I want my own self to succeed.  I'm the man who wants his kids to be better than he ever was, I believe in leading by example, I believing in doing what you say, don't just bark the bark, but walk the walk.

I will fight for her forever, and I have no problem exposing anyone who may mean her harm.  I've always been very good at seeing people for who they really are, I've always been good at telling if someone is a good person or not.  I observe, and I notice all sort of little things, just because I don't speak doesn't mean I don't notice.  We have two eyes and ears from God and one mouth for a reason. 

If someone is trying to change or control you now, then why do you think that will ever change over time or get better.  The closer you get, the more issues magnify themselves over time.  One thing she can honestly say about me is my heart has never changed all the years she has known me, and it's because I truly love her and don't hide who I am from her.  I am exactly who I say I am, and I love you exactly as I say I do, you are my world for better or worse, I will never abandon you or give up on you, and whether you know it or not, I will never be disappointed in you, you've already blown away everything I ever needed in love, you are simply amazing.