I cannot begin to tell you how hard this is for me to write. Everyone has a breaking a point, a point when they can't allow things to keep going how they are, a pint when they realize it's time to remove themselves and not look back. I've been thinking it about for a couple months now, I've seen all the signs, and my heart doesn't lie to me. I'm very observant and I've always been able to read people and between the lines. Actions have always spoken more than words to me, and all my actions I've taken have been out of love and an attempt save what was left.
I've always believed in love, life, friendships, relationships and everything that all parties must be equal, neither should control other, and both should want each other around and not push each other away. I don't use people, I'm there for them no matter if I'm providing help or if I need help, it doesn't matter. And people know I have given more opportunities than I can name to help keep things what they were, I have given my time, my life, my heart, my respect, my trust, and I never asked for much in return, just simply to want to be together at times. Respect works two ways or it doesn't work at all.
The truth is, while I've been getting pushed away, someone else has been taking me in. At first I fought it, I knew who I loved, I knew where my loyalty lied, I knew where my heart was, but the farther I was pushed away, the closer the someone else brought me in, and sooner or later I realized what had happened. I have become a burden to those I love, I have become a nuisance persay to them, they no longer wanted me around, at least so there actions say. I promised myself I would never be a burden to anyone, especially those I love, so maybe it's time I removed myself.
I always say people think I will never walk away or leave, but I will when I feel it's time, and I won't look back and almost never come back. I have walked from many people whom I once loved dearly, and if you ask them, they will tell you I never come back. It isn't because I no longer love them, it simply is self respect and I don't want to be that burden ever again.
I've had this gut feeling for a while, I've watched it slipping away. I said many times before I prayed for if ever the time come God to let me know when it was time, and keep putting love in me for them, but now I feel God pulling me out. We could have been amazing I know, we had God's blessing I know, but for whatever reason I guess it wasn't good enough for you anymore. I'm not mad, I don't hate anyone, in fact I still love you all, but maybe it's time. I want try anymore, it's up to them to chase me now, if they want me they know where to try and find me, and if they don't then so be it.
People don't grow apart, someone pushes the other away because they think they found something better, but so many times that something better doesn't work and they try to go back to the one they pushed away only to find they are no longer available or there. My love is real, it always will be, but I can't allow my love to destroy me. I've tired of looking forward to moments only to be slammed down when pushed aside. I'm tired of being forgotten.
I'm not gone yet, but I'm standing at the door with one foot out. Sometimes you have to go away to prove to someone how much they love you and you love them. Sometimes you have to risk losing them all, to gain they're respect and prove your worth. Truth is I don't know what the future holds, I know I wanted them in my life and future forever, but only time can tell, I was in this for the long haul, but only if I was wanted to be there by them. Should I stay or should I go? I don't know yet, but I know how close I am to knowing. Nothing you said, just the actions over time have said plenty, lack of actions and words say more, and when I see people do worse and get chance after chance, it shows me how little I really matter, so I don't know, I just know my heart doesn't lie to me. Maybe things will change, I don't know, that is up to them if I matter or not enough, either way I will do what I must no matter if I want to or not. I'm a Virgo, read up on us and you will realize how valuable and loyal we truly are. I will not fight with you, I will not beg you, I will not try to control you, I will simply let you decide what happens to us.
I've always believed in love, life, friendships, relationships and everything that all parties must be equal, neither should control other, and both should want each other around and not push each other away. I don't use people, I'm there for them no matter if I'm providing help or if I need help, it doesn't matter. And people know I have given more opportunities than I can name to help keep things what they were, I have given my time, my life, my heart, my respect, my trust, and I never asked for much in return, just simply to want to be together at times. Respect works two ways or it doesn't work at all.
The truth is, while I've been getting pushed away, someone else has been taking me in. At first I fought it, I knew who I loved, I knew where my loyalty lied, I knew where my heart was, but the farther I was pushed away, the closer the someone else brought me in, and sooner or later I realized what had happened. I have become a burden to those I love, I have become a nuisance persay to them, they no longer wanted me around, at least so there actions say. I promised myself I would never be a burden to anyone, especially those I love, so maybe it's time I removed myself.
I always say people think I will never walk away or leave, but I will when I feel it's time, and I won't look back and almost never come back. I have walked from many people whom I once loved dearly, and if you ask them, they will tell you I never come back. It isn't because I no longer love them, it simply is self respect and I don't want to be that burden ever again.
I've had this gut feeling for a while, I've watched it slipping away. I said many times before I prayed for if ever the time come God to let me know when it was time, and keep putting love in me for them, but now I feel God pulling me out. We could have been amazing I know, we had God's blessing I know, but for whatever reason I guess it wasn't good enough for you anymore. I'm not mad, I don't hate anyone, in fact I still love you all, but maybe it's time. I want try anymore, it's up to them to chase me now, if they want me they know where to try and find me, and if they don't then so be it.
People don't grow apart, someone pushes the other away because they think they found something better, but so many times that something better doesn't work and they try to go back to the one they pushed away only to find they are no longer available or there. My love is real, it always will be, but I can't allow my love to destroy me. I've tired of looking forward to moments only to be slammed down when pushed aside. I'm tired of being forgotten.
I'm not gone yet, but I'm standing at the door with one foot out. Sometimes you have to go away to prove to someone how much they love you and you love them. Sometimes you have to risk losing them all, to gain they're respect and prove your worth. Truth is I don't know what the future holds, I know I wanted them in my life and future forever, but only time can tell, I was in this for the long haul, but only if I was wanted to be there by them. Should I stay or should I go? I don't know yet, but I know how close I am to knowing. Nothing you said, just the actions over time have said plenty, lack of actions and words say more, and when I see people do worse and get chance after chance, it shows me how little I really matter, so I don't know, I just know my heart doesn't lie to me. Maybe things will change, I don't know, that is up to them if I matter or not enough, either way I will do what I must no matter if I want to or not. I'm a Virgo, read up on us and you will realize how valuable and loyal we truly are. I will not fight with you, I will not beg you, I will not try to control you, I will simply let you decide what happens to us.
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