The past few weeks have been very interesting in my life, and it really is hard to explain. I've been watching things change constantly right before my eyes both in my surroundings and inside myself. I've chosen to take a different approach lately and hold back my thoughts and words, and let things play out a bit more, and it's very interesting to say the least. Anyone who knows me knows I have an uncanny memory, I remember almost every thing especially things said, and I notice everything as I'm extremely observant even if I don't acknowledge it immediately. I tend to notice things and figure them out before I'm told, body language, patterns, the way things are worded, tone of voice, tell a whole lot in life.
Truth is, I'm sure which way I'm leaning right now, because I just don't know yet where I wish to go. But understand this, no matter where I go I will be myself and I will be successful and I will bring happiness. I don't wish anyone ill will, never have, I believe God has a way leveling everything out sooner or later in ways we can't begin to fathom. I'm not here to judge anyone, and I don't really put much stock in anyone judging me because truth is we all answer to God in the end.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and it was the best Valentine's Day I can remember. I had no plans, no expectations, I was basically going to chill at home unless a friend called to hang out. Funny thing happened, the woman I love and have loved forever it seems called me, and while I'll keep what was said between us, all I'll say is it wasn't a groundbreaking conversation but for the first time in years I heard it in her voice again when talking to me. I heard happiness and eagerness to talk to me, that borderline sassy tone, that relaxed woman I always loved, she was back, and it melted my heart and nearly broke me down in happiness.
You see for so long she has thrown up walls around me, loved me from afar, but suddenly she was back. And I got to see her and her daughter on Valentine's Day even if for a few minutes, and it was heaven. It doesn't matter what we do as long as I'm with her I'm happy forever. I know right now things haven't gone her way, but I want her to understand I still believe in her and I never stopped believing in her, I have not wavered on bit, I have stood by her since day one that we met and I always will. I am that one man who has been the constant in her life since we met, I have not budged, I never stopped loving her and my love has always been unconditional with her. My dream is simple, to spend my life with her in love, and have a family of our own, and be successful in all we do.
She will live her dreams, and I will be there for her every step of the way. God has placed an undying love in me for her for a reason. She will have her successful restaurant I promise, and so much more. We can do this. I understand for us to be together we have to risk it all, we have to risk our friendship, and this isn't easy for me at all because our friendship is the most precious thing in my life right now, but I love her so much I'm ready to take that risk. Mainly because I am that confident in her and my love for her, I truly believe in all my heart that we can stand the test of time, I have no doubts.
I have believed in God's plan, and let things play out no matter how much it hurt, and no matter how much it didn't make sense to me I believed in the love God placed in me and that it all would find a way. I love her, I don't care what the world says or thinks about it, it doesn't really matter to me, I love her and what matters is how she and I feel about that love because in the end our love is only meant to be between she and I. That private relationship, I want it to, but to have that I need to know she is committed to me just as I am ready to commit to her. Either way, I want to say thank you to her for letting me she her and share a small part of Valentine's Day with her, I love you. There are times I confess I dream of her showing up and surprising me with a visit or hanging out, despite what I portray I love surprises when it's from the one I love.
Truth is, I'm sure which way I'm leaning right now, because I just don't know yet where I wish to go. But understand this, no matter where I go I will be myself and I will be successful and I will bring happiness. I don't wish anyone ill will, never have, I believe God has a way leveling everything out sooner or later in ways we can't begin to fathom. I'm not here to judge anyone, and I don't really put much stock in anyone judging me because truth is we all answer to God in the end.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day, and it was the best Valentine's Day I can remember. I had no plans, no expectations, I was basically going to chill at home unless a friend called to hang out. Funny thing happened, the woman I love and have loved forever it seems called me, and while I'll keep what was said between us, all I'll say is it wasn't a groundbreaking conversation but for the first time in years I heard it in her voice again when talking to me. I heard happiness and eagerness to talk to me, that borderline sassy tone, that relaxed woman I always loved, she was back, and it melted my heart and nearly broke me down in happiness.
You see for so long she has thrown up walls around me, loved me from afar, but suddenly she was back. And I got to see her and her daughter on Valentine's Day even if for a few minutes, and it was heaven. It doesn't matter what we do as long as I'm with her I'm happy forever. I know right now things haven't gone her way, but I want her to understand I still believe in her and I never stopped believing in her, I have not wavered on bit, I have stood by her since day one that we met and I always will. I am that one man who has been the constant in her life since we met, I have not budged, I never stopped loving her and my love has always been unconditional with her. My dream is simple, to spend my life with her in love, and have a family of our own, and be successful in all we do.
She will live her dreams, and I will be there for her every step of the way. God has placed an undying love in me for her for a reason. She will have her successful restaurant I promise, and so much more. We can do this. I understand for us to be together we have to risk it all, we have to risk our friendship, and this isn't easy for me at all because our friendship is the most precious thing in my life right now, but I love her so much I'm ready to take that risk. Mainly because I am that confident in her and my love for her, I truly believe in all my heart that we can stand the test of time, I have no doubts.
I have believed in God's plan, and let things play out no matter how much it hurt, and no matter how much it didn't make sense to me I believed in the love God placed in me and that it all would find a way. I love her, I don't care what the world says or thinks about it, it doesn't really matter to me, I love her and what matters is how she and I feel about that love because in the end our love is only meant to be between she and I. That private relationship, I want it to, but to have that I need to know she is committed to me just as I am ready to commit to her. Either way, I want to say thank you to her for letting me she her and share a small part of Valentine's Day with her, I love you. There are times I confess I dream of her showing up and surprising me with a visit or hanging out, despite what I portray I love surprises when it's from the one I love.
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