Always A Reason

Sometimes the best way to send a message is through silence, and honestly I don't do this very often with anyone I care about.  I have to be pushed pretty far or hurt pretty bad to resort to silence, but there are times I know it is my only choice to prove my worth, to prove how much they mean to me.  If I go silent, especially to those I care and love, then trust there is a very valid and strong reason, and often times I won't budge, because the whole point of the silence is for them to know they hurt me, blew me off one too many times for whatever reason, or their actions are just repeating themselves over and over again.  I promise you I am very observant and know way more than I let on, I have way of finding things out.  Many times, I'll let things play simply because I no longer care anymore on stopping it.

There are times in life, I could have won fights and made arguments, but chose not to because to me it was no longer worth the fight.  Sometimes you just realize your down where you're at and are ready for better things.  When I go silent, it doesn't mean I stopped caring for you or loving you at all, because trust I do more than ever, but it means I want to matter to you enough that you're willing to chase me down, you're willing to make things happen with us, maybe I've grown tired and hurt of being the only side making that effort.

Maybe I've tried time and time again to prove my love is real and strong, and its shunned or shrugged off so many times that I'm leery on trying anymore.  This means if things are to happen, it has to start with you now, not me, I've made my tries time after time, you can't deny that if you're honest.

I'm good in life, I'm happy with my job, glad I'm no longer where I was because I was ready to be done there, it's why I didn't fight to stay.  I see all the time, people saying do for yourself and I'm happy doing for me quotes, but deep down those people miss the whole point, true happiness goes beyond doing for yourself, true happiness is for no reason at all doing for others.  People often forget one of Jesus' biggest stories in the Bible, the Good Samaritan, the one who does for others first are living the Godly way.  It's so simple, God will take of you, let Him, and let God use you to help others, not for personal gain, but simply because you can and they need it.  This world is so much bigger than any of us, we all matter no matter what, the more people who get that the better off we are.  Don't worry what other's think of you, if you're living the Godly way, then trust God's opinion is the one that matters.

Everything I do is out of love, and I'm still here, I never left.  But I will not allow myself to be hurt over and over again, I know my worth in life, it's up to you to realize as well.  You mean the world to me, I've proven that to you, but I beg anymore, no matter what happens I promise you I will be happy and just fine, because I know God has me.  I'm not afraid of life.

Not Much

I'm not going to say much mainly because I don't have much to say.  When someone or something matters enough to you, you are willing to roll the dice and take every chance you got on them even if you know there is a chance it could end bad.  Because on the other, there is also a chance it can be the greatest decision of your life.  Never count your chickens before they're hatched, the future is always untold and unknown.  I never left you, and I've stayed true to who I am and my heart as I always said I would.

Still Here

Truth is I still haven't given up on her, truth is I never will because I love her and believe in her.  I know her better than she knows and better than most, and she isn't perfect I confess, but neither am I, but what she is to me is the greatest woman I've ever met.  And it doesn't matter how the rest of the world sees her, all that matters to me is how I see her.  Love and beauty are in the eye of the beholder.  I've never cared much for what the world thinks, I've always been proud to have my own opinion in everything and everyone.

One day she'll get it, one day she'll understand how real my love is for her, one day she'll understand why I won't give up on her.  You see, you don't just give up on the greatest part of your life no matter what.  I've had so many chances to move on and get with other women, but the truth is my heart has stayed with her, deep down I know how much I love her and how happy I am around her.  And I choose not to let go of this great love for her in exchange for cheap love in the name of not being alone. 

Every day I will tell her she is amazing, every morning I will remind her she isn't alone is this world, and every chance I get I will pray for her in all things, for one reason and one reason alone, and that is because I truly love her completely.  I keep putting the bait out there, all she has to do is bite, reel me in, she knows how I know.

Different In All Of Us

I am exactly who I say I am, and I have always stayed true to myself. and this can never disputed.  I have always gone out of my way to be there for you, even at times when I knew it might not be in my best interests.  And it is really simple the reason why, and that reason is and always will be because you matter to me and I love you.  I have made every effort to keep us together, to keep us from growing apart.  I have reached out, I have reminded you I still care, and let you know I miss you, I have fought the distance between us because I love you and you matter to me.

It takes a lot of effort to remember every morning to wish you well and remind you that you are amazing.  It takes patience, thoughtfulness, faith and perseverance.  I'm the one who will never stop loving you no matter what you do or how much you try to push me away, and it really is simple, I love you unconditionally in all ways.  I've seen the mountain tops and I've seen the valleys, and I can honestly neither compares to peace I feel when I'm with you.

I can't wait forever, we both realize that.  And others have shown interest, but I won't just give my heart to anyone.  I actually love myself more than you realize, so much so I value my heart enough to only give to someone deserving, to someone who will love me back as I love them.  The thing is when I find someone to give my heart to, I'm willing to give them all I have and more.  The greatest happiness to me, is the ability to provide for the one I love, to give them all I can, to make their dreams come true, and to bring them happiness, these things are what truly makes me happy.

When I do for myself, I feel shallow, and I might feel happy for a moment, but deep down I feel empty.  Doing for others it was gives me meaning and happiness in life.  And by loving myself I choose to me happy, but to be happy I must do for those I love.  Everyone in this world is different, we all find happiness in different ways.  We can all read a quote a million different ways, just to find the meaning we're searching for.

I am very sincere, and very open.  Have I not proven myself to you time and time again?  Have I not come through for you time and time again?  I've always had your back, and I've let our secrets destroy me at times.  I've even been your shield and fallen on my sword in silence for you.  I'm not really sure what more you want out of me or expect from me.  You tell me to be happy, but then you keep from me the one aspect of life that makes me happy.  There is no secret to life, there is no one right way to be happy, there isn't a magic formula or script, in the end we all our different and we all must find our own way.  This is what God intended, for us to make our own choices, this is free will, God will guide us, but in the end it is our choice, but we must realize with choices comes consequences.  I have always placed my trust in God, and for better or worse I always will and I always will be me.  My words are never empty, but I do need the chance to show you what they can be.

This Is What Real Is

I mean what I say, and I say what I mean.  My actions will always match my words, in many ways my actions will go beyond my words.  I will never stop loving you no matter how you try to make me stop, I refuse to give up on you simply because I see who you are and I see the greatness in you and I believe in you.  Call me a gentlemen if you must, call me nice if you like, but no I believe helping those I love smile and be successful, I believing in building them up and not tearing them down.  I believe in freedom and not control.  I will always buck the trend, and I will always treat the woman I love right, and like the queen she is.  Everyone wants me to find good woman because I am so loving and will treat her right, I hear that all the time, I just want the woman I love to step up and be that good woman I already know she is.

All I Ask

It really isn't that hard to understand me when it comes to love, and really if you just pay attention you would know what I want and need out of love and the one I love.  I'm a giver, I'm a builder, I am a person who isn't afraid to sacrifice, I am a provider and I am a protector.  All I ask from the one I love is to let me be these things for them.  I am not selfish at all, I want to give all I have and more to the one I love, because to me there is no greater cause in life.

Seeing what I give make the one I love happy is the greatest gift you can give me.   Knowing what I sacrifice becomes a great gain for the one I love brings me happiness and no regret.  I build to last a life time, I plan far ahead, and I cover all our bases for us both.  Let me be your shield, let me be your rock, consume me if you must to succeed, I give myself willingly.  Don't get me wrong, I only do this for the one I love and nobody else.  I don't ask for the one I love to keep up with me or do what I do, truth be told I don't react well when roles are reversed.  I love surprises and I am always grateful for kind gifts, but my true happiness lies in giving of myself and knowing I'm needed and wanted.

I know there aren't many like me, but that doesn't bother me at all.  I have no desire to control anyone, I simply ask for trust and freedom to give myself and help them in love at all times.  Don't question why I give, just know it's out of love, it's how I love.  So many people want to analyze why i do what I do, they think I'm playing mind games or I'm seeking something, but really its simply because I love you and I want to give to you, help you, protect you and so much more.  Let me be me.  I never hide who I am.

Still Time

If you want to know something than ask me.  Don't assume anything really.  Yes there are things in motion in my life, yes everything choice I make is in reaction to inactions or actions by you, but I do still love her.  It's not to late, but even they I want you more than anything and want to for you, reality is what it is.  If you are ready to try and take that risk then come get me, stop waiting, stop stalling, stop worrying, and just come make it happen.  You never know, maybe I'm waiting for that from you.  You already know how I feel about you, maybe I'm waiting for you to show me too.  But know that when I'm gone with someone else because you waited too long, that gave you every chance in the world, but I am loyal in love, and my loyalty is complete to whoever I am with in love.  The window is still ever so slightly open for us, can you seize it.

Forevermore

Yes, I am that guy who will tell you every day how amazing you are, I am that guy who will tell you good morning every day, I am that guy that will pray for you and wish you happiness every day, I am that guy who remind you that you are loved every day.  And look, I get it, when it happens every day it is easy to take it for granted, but there is a very strong reason I do it.  One thing I've learned in life is we are only guaranteed the moment we currently live in, because we could gone the very next moment with no warning.  Life is unpredictable in reality, and some times we don't get a second chance to tell someone we love them.

So I do this to her know I never change how I feel about her, I tell her all of this no matter if she is sad, mad or happy, no matter if she is on top of the mountain or bottom of the valley, no matter the situation I make time to tell her she is amazing, good morning and she matters always.  Sometimes I don't much, but I always make sure to say enough.  I could hold back, wait for a certain moment for a bigger bang, but what if that moment doesn't come, than I never get that chance.

I try to make her smile every chance I get, and I take pride in that.  She knows I am the guy who has had her back since day one, I loved her when she failed, I loved her when she succeeds, I love her when she is happy, I love her when she sad, I love her when she is silly, crazy, depressed, angry, determined, afraid and all other feelings.  Bottom line I have proven I love her unconditionally.  I don't just talk the talk, I always walk the walk with her and she knows this.  No matter how it affects me in life, I'm always right there for her.

This is love, this is how a real man loves, there is no power struggle, no controlling, no trying to change her, no there is only real true unconditional love.  And deep down she knows the truth.  And I close by saying to her, you are amazing, you are great, God made you a warrior and leader in so many ways, you will succeed I know, I love you, and you always matter to me.

Realness

With me, you really have to read in between the lines truthfully.  Trust is really big to me, to love you I must trust you, once I lose trust in you I lose that love as well.  Trust is also big to me in those I love in that they trust me to, if I feel you don't trust me then I start doubting you as well.  I work hard to prove I am trustworthy, and I work hard in trusting those I love, it goes both ways and in some ways for better or worse it must be blind until  a valid reason states otherwise.  To love someone is to risk them hurting you, is to put your heart in their hands in trust that they won't hurt you, it's making yourself vulnerable to someone else in trust.  It sounds crazy I know, but real love is just this, real love is in many ways truth faith, faith is believing without seeing.  Anyone can and will believe once they see it, but the truly faithful believe it before they see it.

Many people think silence and being ignored is what drive me crazy, but that isn't true.  I can handle silence, especially when I know someone well enough, and when I know I have done no wrong.  I believe in God, and I trust Him to let me know when something is wrong, when silence is more than silence.  I am not naive, I am very much so cunning, I will play dumb until I have to reveal what I know.  Timing is truly everything.  When I reach out to the woman I love, and she doesn't respond, I'm ok, because I love and trust her, I know in my heart who she is and how she feels and what she is striving for.  I'm on her side, I'm on our side, and honestly I reach out to her not for my gain, but really to inspire her and remind her she is loved always and never has to face life alone unless she chooses to.

The devil has played games with us often, he has allowed rumors to test us, and we have fought many times, but we never allow the devil win, and the reason is we love each other and deep down we understand and trust each like no one else does.  We always find our way back to each other no matter what we go through in life.  There is something very strong between us, I know this, and she is starting to see this too.  Imagine what could happen if we embraced this, it could be life changing.  I have eternal patience for her, and everlasting understanding, I love her.

Tribulations

I am a firm believer in God, and everything happens for a reason.  And I confess I don't always enjoy His tests, trials and tribulations, I do understand why they are needed.  I have loved and been a friend sincerely and for all the right reasons, I have strived with all I have to do things the right way, and still God has allowed false rumors beyond my control to spread doubt on everything.  While I am angered and hurt and offended, I see know why God allowed this to happen.  You see this isn't just a test for me, it is also a test for those I love.  While I know the rumors are false, and have fought vehemently to prove this, it is times like this I will found out how much those who I love and claim to love me truly do, how do they truly trust me or know me, how much do I truly mean to them.

Will they believe the lies and cats me aside like nothing, or will they see the truth and believe in me as I would them and prove their love without doubt.  Maybe this is why God allowed this to happen?  Maybe He needed me to see the truth no matter what it turns out to be.  I have always been there for them without question, I have always made them my top priority, they have always mattered the most in my life, I have always loved them and trusted in them, but will they do the same, or have they been trying to push me out their lives for some time now.

The truth is I don't really know, and part of me is afraid to know because I know I might not like the answer, but then part wants to know because I might love the answer.  The woman I love, I love with all I got, and then friend I care for I've always considered my closest friend.  So yeah, when I feel pushed away or forgotten, it really hurts more than anything else.  At times I wonder if my time or happiness really matters to them, or does it only matter when it benefits them as well.  It does bother me as well, when they constantly make time for the same others week after week, while always not having time for us week after week, even if we plans they cancel yet magically find plans with others, it's not a good feeling at all.  If they wonder why I've been slowly pulling away, this is why, they have given me the impression they want me gone even if I don't want to go.  I've said it before, and I'll say again, they are like family to me.  The woman I love and her daughter, and my best friend as well in her mother.  I never once lied about my actions or feelings, I've stayed strong in who I am even through the pain and obstacles.  I've watched others give into the world and change who they are, while I have stayed who I am through my love and belief in God.  I am no puppet, my beliefs were given to me for a purpose, and that purpose is not to change by the world, God made us all who we for a reason, so don't waste that reason God gave to you to accommodate anyone.